Drifting

Drifting off in a world of touch

I feel the beauty with my eyes.

Focused, determined

Drifting...

Closed off but open,

I can touch the music.

Feeling it through my body

A happiness, unfounded

Drifting...

The pleasure of the water;

The tingle on my skin;

The wind through my hair;

A deepness in my soul...

Drifting...

Pleasured, erotic

The taste to the tongue

of a fruit once forbidden:

A sensual pleasure. 

I close my eyes...

The music takes me away

Electrifying into my soul

I dare to keep on...

Drifting...

~~grb 2012~~

Write

Colors of yellow, blue and red

The changing of a rainbow 

Residual stains on the carpet;

staining....permanent. 

Everything, permanent.

Thinking things will change

Hoping without changing

Standing still yet moving;

Sitting yet sleeping...

When nothing makes sense...

I write.

When I can't feel settled...

I write.

Testing the waters

with backfiring results

Trying to fly

without wings...

Succeeding in life,

Failing at love...

Holding on tight

but losing control...

When nothing makes sense...

I write.

When I can't feel settled...

I write.

Holding water but empty hands

being whole but feeling like half...

When nothing makes sense...

I write.

When I lose control..I...

I hold the pencil...

~grb 2/25/2012

Cannon Fodder

The course of action was to be subtle

But it was everything but that.

It was intense and loud instead. 

I close my eyes to feel nothing but the sand...

The sand between my toes, hugging my feet.

It isn't calming me this time.

I thought it out..

I thought it through..

Laid out the consequences,

Realized there would be cannon fodder;

Never imagined it would be me.

I followed the signs...

I followed my gut...

I led in my decisions...

and let my conscience guide me. 

Or betray me...

I laid it all out..

I thought I thought it through..

I thought I had seen all the possibilities..

The consequences seemed clear...

I tripped over myself today

Face planted into a darkness I regret.

I feel I cannot see light,

And the sand is feeling cold. 

I realized there would be cannon fodder;

Never imagined it would be me.

~~grb  2/2012~~

(picture by unknown source via Google images)

Mind

Where is my mind? 
Where is the place I drift off to?
Where is the light
That guides us in the right direction?


Where is my MIND?
Where is my LIGHT?
Why do I drift off into silence
passing time?


Where is my mind?

Cascading waters down the rocks..
I find myself wanting it to stop..
Where does it go when there isn't a stream?
Why does it leave?


Where is my mind?


Rolling down the crimson tide
Wasting all my time..
Watch it bleed it's whole way down
Pretending it is fine.


Catch me falling and I will reward you
Save me from dieing and I will hold you
Watch me drown and I will not know you
Watch me cry and I will know I am not for you.

And I drown....

Where is my MIND?
Where is my LIGHT?
Why do I drift off into silence
passing time?


Where is my mind?

~~grb~~

Finding What Is There

Waiting for the snow when it isn't even cold
 Looking for the puddle when there isn't any rain. 
Always looking for what isn't.


Staring into a pasture that has died away
I sat there for hours, staring.
Once feeling the ultimate love
To later feel ultimate loss.


I spend hours smiling and living..
Living in the moment..happy moment.
But inside, I am crashing down...
Barreling down into a pile...
A pile of....poop.


My strength keeps me going 
But it also brings my weaknesses. 
My heart keeps on beating 
But it gets slower as time goes.


Waiting for the snow when it isn't even cold
 Looking for the puddle when there isn't any rain. 
Always looking for what isn't there
And never finding what is.


~~grb~~
2/14/2012

Sometimes....

Sometimes I wish I could erase yesterday.

Sometimes I wish I could fast forward through tomorrow. 

And then sometimes I wish I could delete today...

Sometimes...

I wake up to early in the morning

I sleep too little at night.

I dress in sweats because it fits

And my ponytail is held too tight.

Sometimes...

Sometimes I wish my mind could work with my heart

And that my mind would work with my feet

And then maybe I wouldn't stumble across myself,

or stumble at all.

Sometimes....

I wish I could forget my heart

I wish I would never dream

Sometimes I wish for nothing....

 

But sometimes...

I lay awake at night...

Stretched across my sheets

Wishing for a good dream

Wrapping the blankets around me.

Tonight...

I wish I wasn't hugging myself

And laying in the cold.

I wish it wasn't the blankets 

That were there to keep me warm.

Sometimes....

~~grb  2012~~

One of These Days...

Falling from the sky, I"m watching it go

One of these days the sky will open

And catch me with its tears...

Catching me dancing in it.

I see the blue of the sky mix with the green of the ocean

We won't have to suffer like the fish  under oil

We will have an escape....

We will find a way.

Then I'm brought down to the now...

Wishing it was the know...

Sometimes I think I'm like a paper weight

Holding something down that needs to be freed.

At times I feel invisible

At times I feel smothered...

And then the sky opens

And I drown in its tears....

I feel...nothing.

One of these days your gonna find me smiling

Your gonna see me happy and wonder where it was

Wonder what brought the shine in my eyes...

One of these days I will be strengthened 

I will be stronger than Superman on his best day.

I will be standing tall and holding strong

One of these days...

I will be my own escape. 

~~grb  2012~~