Empty Answers

The answers we are seeking may never come

And we will continue to breathe, live and die without them. 

The questions we ask may never be delivered

And we are told that faith is all we need. 

Everyday it gets harder and harder to trust what I can not see. 

I find it hard to listen to those of Godly ways. 

Have they been in my position? 

Have they looked upon his face and seen the fear in his eyes? 

They have not. 

I grew up being told of a being bigger than life. 

My whole world revolved around someone I could not hug. 

I grew up being told that believing will make things happen

But the blisters on my hands and pain in my body tell a different story. 

I turn pages in a book written by many upon thousands of men; 

A book said to be told by Men of God....

Stories that were written by a mere human we are suppose to believe

Was chosen by the Almighty Lord. 

Everyday that he suffers, my belief in this does as well.

This "powerful" book that I held in my arms many times

Gives me no answers to my questions. 

I feel as though my questions asked are like a parent to a child

So every answer is "because I said so." 

So,  almighty being I can not hug but must believe, 

Tell me answers to my many questions! 

Feel my hurt, anger and confusion! 

Be the Father they say you are 

And hold me when I cry! 

Throw away that lazy answer "Because I said so" 

And give me what I need! 

I grew up believing in a powerful being that I could not touch

But was told to believe in. 

I sit here waiting for answers that only science can give. 

I hold the hand to a man that can hug me back and shed my tears. 

And yet all I can do is watch him hurt. 

So tell me again why I am to trust what I can not see? 

~~grb 1/13/15~~

Thin Faith

Tell me....
Did he roll the dice a bit too far?
Bet a hand that was so flawed?
Did he care too much and love too deep?
Did he forget to pray before he went to sleep?

Tell me....
What did he do?

I sit here waiting for one more test
One more voice , one more body, one more result.
I sit here waiting for the good news to come
I sit here waiting,  just waiting.

I see his face and remember his eyes
I know he is hurting.
This helplessness I feel is overwhelming.
Each time he holds my hand
I feel it; it's very telling.

I ask the questions loudly
As he quietly does the same
I ask our Lord the questions
I ask but nothing will change.

Perhaps it's all but science
That keeps us having faith.
Faith that something bigger out there
Will help our loved ones pain.

Nothing we can grab.
Nothing we can reach out for.
Nothing we can feel in our hands.
Nothing to hold on to...
But faith.

So tell me....
So give me answers.
Because my faith is running thin.

Did he love too hard?
Work too much?
Live to well?
Or everything that's him not enough?

Tell me why!

~~grb 1/13/15
For D.H. Jr.