Cannon Fodder

The course of action was to be subtle

But it was everything but that.

It was intense and loud instead. 

I close my eyes to feel nothing but the sand...

The sand between my toes, hugging my feet.

It isn't calming me this time.

I thought it out..

I thought it through..

Laid out the consequences,

Realized there would be cannon fodder;

Never imagined it would be me.

I followed the signs...

I followed my gut...

I led in my decisions...

and let my conscience guide me. 

Or betray me...

I laid it all out..

I thought I thought it through..

I thought I had seen all the possibilities..

The consequences seemed clear...

I tripped over myself today

Face planted into a darkness I regret.

I feel I cannot see light,

And the sand is feeling cold. 

I realized there would be cannon fodder;

Never imagined it would be me.

~~grb  2/2012~~

(picture by unknown source via Google images)