Detach

Detach....separate....disengage;

Pain, torment, all down the page.

It's like yesterday was everything

and today can't be the same.

Detach...separate...disengage.

There is no falling or crying or drowning in water;

There is no lack of air, need to disappear or avoiding cannon fodder.

It's not like the feelings before that traveled down the pages;

It's different...internal, and comes in blood and stages.

It's everything that was done and said in unequal proportions. 

It's the motions, the actions, not the words that were spoke with misfortune. 

There was no screaming, no yelling, no physical fits of anger;

There was distrust, manipulation that followed with the flag "danger".

The glass falling to the floor, shattering into pieces

Was nothing more than a heart covered in diseases;

Pumping, thumping, beating and pounding out its fight

Breaking, faking the need for its own life. 

Fractured, shattered, broken beyond repair;

Cutting, hurting, pain replacing all the fear.

Its nothing,it's everything, the hollowness in between

what should of, could of, and never ever would be. 

So I tell you now, how the numbness comes creeping in...

Detach....separate....disengage;

Pain, torment, all down the page.

It's like yesterday was everything

and today can't be the same.

Detach...separate...disengage.

~~grb  11/20/2015

The Tapestry

 His body poured over mine...

it's like sweltering lava melting my skin.

I can taste him like water to wine

And feel him like every sin...

He touched me like I needed

And he held me like I wanted

But he couldn't kiss me like I dreamed it

yet it was great to feel so completed.

And then , I was drowning...

The water poured down on me...

Satisfied, I could only feel ...

Over my breast and down passed my knees.

It all felt heavenly.

He draped over me like I was his curtain

Passion poured like a fountain dripping from the sky

His hands molded my body to the form he desired

And I melted into him..

It was a tapestry, 

An artwork of no one's design;

A patient man with anxious hands

that shaped me into a piece of art.

Wrapped legs around the hips,

one can imagine the need beneath.

But, this one laid there endlessly,

to take each dying breath.  

He poured over me like melting lava

He draped me like a curtain 

He was a magnet to my body

and an anchor in my soul...

His passion poured over me like a fountain...

His hands molded me to every desire

Leaving me satisfied and completed...

I was a tapestry, 

An artwork of only his design;

A patient man with anxious hands

that shaped me into life. 

~~grb 11/12/15

(The pucture above does not belong to me. It was sent to me via text with no listed author.) 

Burning Bridges

No matter the choice, No matter the tears,

Whether right or wrong, whether friends or peers;

The water isn't rising but the bridge has been lit,

The fire is coming and I can not stop it.

Lord, grant me the strength to continue on.

I will lose a lot but maybe it won't all be gone. 

Betrayal is unforgivable but love is not forgotten;

The bridge has started burning and I will be the fallen.

Lord, I checked in with you quite a bit

And you said nothing while I felt like a hipocrite. 

I tossed and turned and ground my teeth

And you just stared over me.  

I am in a place I never knew existed;

At least not for me, so don't get it twisted. 

I am not naive but I am none of this

Or maybe I am?

Now that I am in the mix.

No matter the choice, No matter the tears,

Whether right or wrong, whether friends or peers,

The water isn't rising but the bridge has been lit...

The fire is coming and I can not stop it 

I battled for weeks as to what choice to make. 

I played with fire but for good reason, I say.

I dropped the match and it all caught on fire!

Down burns the bridge into a black dusty pile.  

~~grb  10/25/15

(The above photograph belongs to http://www.raindance.org/how-filmmakers-quit-a-day-job-without-burning-bridges/)

Falling Through Fog: To Change My Ways

Falling Through Fog: To Change My Ways: I fell years ago…I fell into something I didn’t want…didn’t need I fell into a place I shouldn’t have asked for trying to find who I was. I...

In time....

I dont want to feel like this

but time is giving up now. 

I dont know what I was thinking...

that the tables would change somehow.

How does one keep on going

knowing things cant stay the same? 

And the more you try to force it  

even faster comes the change. 

Driving all night and I'm thinking

that the rain, it has to stop. 

That the storm has to calm down soon

Because the sun aint got a shot! 

I just wanna keep on driving

Flying on through the lights

Need to drive onto the beach

Where I feel the most alive! 

I dont want to feel this way 

But time is giving up on me. 

I dont know what I was thinking

Rushing through the possibilities...

Take me now...

Down to the beach. 

Hold me now...

It's all slipping away from me. 

How does one keep on going

without inevitably going insane?   

and the more you try to keep it 

even faster comes the change.

~~GRB 09/2015~~

Monarch

When the night folds down

And covers the sky like a curtain, 

I grab my wine and enjoy the show.

So many things I am feeling

But there is one thing I am certain...

One thing I know...

I'm gonna dance until the sun comes up, 

Every emotion pouring out of my soul.

I'm gonna shed everything off my skin,

Dancing naked, letting it all go! 

Behind my smile, I am crying;

Behind my laugh, I'm angry as hell! 

And in my moves, my heart and with my passion,

I'm fighting to free myself!

The chains will break with each movement

As my body will feed off my strength;

My breathing will become powerful

And my eyes will show no pain. 

I am a monarch with amazing beauty

And a smile that will capture your soul.

I will surpass those dragging me down

And I will rise like none before! 

~~grab 8/18/15~~

~~Dedicated to my friend, Destiny~~

(The above picture does not belong to me. It belongs to the following website) 
http://www.ecomythsalliance.org/2014/02/myth-monarchs-and-gmo-foods-are-unrelated/

Trip of Dreams

The water laid greenish-blue underneath the sun
And dark blue with the moon, 

It's beauty transcended through the sky

And I couldn't get enough.

I've laid awake many nights

With my mind jumbling in reality. 

I then, closed my eyes and dreamed once more

That we were still there.

When the nights close in and pour over me, 

When the air just seems too thick, 

When my breathing slows and I gasp for air

I go where you're not sick.

We travel through the German castles

And we drink some good Irish beer,

We laugh and dance through Norway

To the sound of the fiddle in our ear.

We hike through the mountains of Europe

Stopping in for some English tea,

We visit Vatican City

And there, find our faith by three.

We travel down the ocean

Passing by the Celtic Sea.

We bobsled through Jamaica

And we rest under the moon on the beach.

Sometimes I have to leave this place

When the air just seems so thick.

Sometimes I just take you with me

To anywhere where you aren't sick.

~~grb 2015, june~~

DWH

Empty Answers

The answers we are seeking may never come

And we will continue to breathe, live and die without them. 

The questions we ask may never be delivered

And we are told that faith is all we need. 

Everyday it gets harder and harder to trust what I can not see. 

I find it hard to listen to those of Godly ways. 

Have they been in my position? 

Have they looked upon his face and seen the fear in his eyes? 

They have not. 

I grew up being told of a being bigger than life. 

My whole world revolved around someone I could not hug. 

I grew up being told that believing will make things happen

But the blisters on my hands and pain in my body tell a different story. 

I turn pages in a book written by many upon thousands of men; 

A book said to be told by Men of God....

Stories that were written by a mere human we are suppose to believe

Was chosen by the Almighty Lord. 

Everyday that he suffers, my belief in this does as well.

This "powerful" book that I held in my arms many times

Gives me no answers to my questions. 

I feel as though my questions asked are like a parent to a child

So every answer is "because I said so." 

So,  almighty being I can not hug but must believe, 

Tell me answers to my many questions! 

Feel my hurt, anger and confusion! 

Be the Father they say you are 

And hold me when I cry! 

Throw away that lazy answer "Because I said so" 

And give me what I need! 

I grew up believing in a powerful being that I could not touch

But was told to believe in. 

I sit here waiting for answers that only science can give. 

I hold the hand to a man that can hug me back and shed my tears. 

And yet all I can do is watch him hurt. 

So tell me again why I am to trust what I can not see? 

~~grb 1/13/15~~

Thin Faith

Tell me....
Did he roll the dice a bit too far?
Bet a hand that was so flawed?
Did he care too much and love too deep?
Did he forget to pray before he went to sleep?

Tell me....
What did he do?

I sit here waiting for one more test
One more voice , one more body, one more result.
I sit here waiting for the good news to come
I sit here waiting,  just waiting.

I see his face and remember his eyes
I know he is hurting.
This helplessness I feel is overwhelming.
Each time he holds my hand
I feel it; it's very telling.

I ask the questions loudly
As he quietly does the same
I ask our Lord the questions
I ask but nothing will change.

Perhaps it's all but science
That keeps us having faith.
Faith that something bigger out there
Will help our loved ones pain.

Nothing we can grab.
Nothing we can reach out for.
Nothing we can feel in our hands.
Nothing to hold on to...
But faith.

So tell me....
So give me answers.
Because my faith is running thin.

Did he love too hard?
Work too much?
Live to well?
Or everything that's him not enough?

Tell me why!

~~grb 1/13/15
For D.H. Jr.