For You

Wiping a tear from my eyes never seemed so hard before. 

Eating and drinking in my life never used to feel like a chore. 

I playback my memories and a smile crosses my face. 

But when I play into my future, I see an empty space. 

It's like I'm living in one world while my heart is somewhere else. 

I try to pretend that I'm doing ok but I'm lying to myself. 

My heart is very heavy and sometimes hard to carry

I play it off like I'm happy but inside it's pretty scary. 

I want to lay down beside you, 

Hear your heart beat close to my ear. 

I want to hold you so tightly

Until all of your pain disappears. 

I want to stare into your eyes

And tell you how I love you,

And kiss your lips 

For as long as you so choose. 

I remember once I asked you if maybe I could keep you. 

You smiled at me and said "of course, if you really want to."

I remember it like yesterday, the first time you made me laugh

Or even that you never, ever made me mad. 

I want to hold your hand as we may fall asleep

I want to feel your skin warm and close to me. 

I want to wake up tomorrow and find it was a bad dream

That you will still be here, never leaving me. 

I will not cry my saddest tears on that final day.

My gift to you will be the hardest thing I can do. 

I will smile, laugh and carry on

To celebrate the beautiful gift that is you. 

~~grb  1/28/16

To Dwain, with all my love. 

Detach

Detach....separate....disengage;

Pain, torment, all down the page.

It's like yesterday was everything

and today can't be the same.

Detach...separate...disengage.

There is no falling or crying or drowning in water;

There is no lack of air, need to disappear or avoiding cannon fodder.

It's not like the feelings before that traveled down the pages;

It's different...internal, and comes in blood and stages.

It's everything that was done and said in unequal proportions. 

It's the motions, the actions, not the words that were spoke with misfortune. 

There was no screaming, no yelling, no physical fits of anger;

There was distrust, manipulation that followed with the flag "danger".

The glass falling to the floor, shattering into pieces

Was nothing more than a heart covered in diseases;

Pumping, thumping, beating and pounding out its fight

Breaking, faking the need for its own life. 

Fractured, shattered, broken beyond repair;

Cutting, hurting, pain replacing all the fear.

Its nothing,it's everything, the hollowness in between

what should of, could of, and never ever would be. 

So I tell you now, how the numbness comes creeping in...

Detach....separate....disengage;

Pain, torment, all down the page.

It's like yesterday was everything

and today can't be the same.

Detach...separate...disengage.

~~grb  11/20/2015

The Tapestry

 His body poured over mine...

it's like sweltering lava melting my skin.

I can taste him like water to wine

And feel him like every sin...

He touched me like I needed

And he held me like I wanted

But he couldn't kiss me like I dreamed it

yet it was great to feel so completed.

And then , I was drowning...

The water poured down on me...

Satisfied, I could only feel ...

Over my breast and down passed my knees.

It all felt heavenly.

He draped over me like I was his curtain

Passion poured like a fountain dripping from the sky

His hands molded my body to the form he desired

And I melted into him..

It was a tapestry, 

An artwork of no one's design;

A patient man with anxious hands

that shaped me into a piece of art.

Wrapped legs around the hips,

one can imagine the need beneath.

But, this one laid there endlessly,

to take each dying breath.  

He poured over me like melting lava

He draped me like a curtain 

He was a magnet to my body

and an anchor in my soul...

His passion poured over me like a fountain...

His hands molded me to every desire

Leaving me satisfied and completed...

I was a tapestry, 

An artwork of only his design;

A patient man with anxious hands

that shaped me into life. 

~~grb 11/12/15

(The pucture above does not belong to me. It was sent to me via text with no listed author.) 

Burning Bridges

No matter the choice, No matter the tears,

Whether right or wrong, whether friends or peers;

The water isn't rising but the bridge has been lit,

The fire is coming and I can not stop it.

Lord, grant me the strength to continue on.

I will lose a lot but maybe it won't all be gone. 

Betrayal is unforgivable but love is not forgotten;

The bridge has started burning and I will be the fallen.

Lord, I checked in with you quite a bit

And you said nothing while I felt like a hipocrite. 

I tossed and turned and ground my teeth

And you just stared over me.  

I am in a place I never knew existed;

At least not for me, so don't get it twisted. 

I am not naive but I am none of this

Or maybe I am?

Now that I am in the mix.

No matter the choice, No matter the tears,

Whether right or wrong, whether friends or peers,

The water isn't rising but the bridge has been lit...

The fire is coming and I can not stop it 

I battled for weeks as to what choice to make. 

I played with fire but for good reason, I say.

I dropped the match and it all caught on fire!

Down burns the bridge into a black dusty pile.  

~~grb  10/25/15

(The above photograph belongs to http://www.raindance.org/how-filmmakers-quit-a-day-job-without-burning-bridges/)

Falling Through Fog: To Change My Ways

Falling Through Fog: To Change My Ways: I fell years ago…I fell into something I didn’t want…didn’t need I fell into a place I shouldn’t have asked for trying to find who I was. I...

In time....

I dont want to feel like this

but time is giving up now. 

I dont know what I was thinking...

that the tables would change somehow.

How does one keep on going

knowing things cant stay the same? 

And the more you try to force it  

even faster comes the change. 

Driving all night and I'm thinking

that the rain, it has to stop. 

That the storm has to calm down soon

Because the sun aint got a shot! 

I just wanna keep on driving

Flying on through the lights

Need to drive onto the beach

Where I feel the most alive! 

I dont want to feel this way 

But time is giving up on me. 

I dont know what I was thinking

Rushing through the possibilities...

Take me now...

Down to the beach. 

Hold me now...

It's all slipping away from me. 

How does one keep on going

without inevitably going insane?   

and the more you try to keep it 

even faster comes the change.

~~GRB 09/2015~~

Monarch

When the night folds down

And covers the sky like a curtain, 

I grab my wine and enjoy the show.

So many things I am feeling

But there is one thing I am certain...

One thing I know...

I'm gonna dance until the sun comes up, 

Every emotion pouring out of my soul.

I'm gonna shed everything off my skin,

Dancing naked, letting it all go! 

Behind my smile, I am crying;

Behind my laugh, I'm angry as hell! 

And in my moves, my heart and with my passion,

I'm fighting to free myself!

The chains will break with each movement

As my body will feed off my strength;

My breathing will become powerful

And my eyes will show no pain. 

I am a monarch with amazing beauty

And a smile that will capture your soul.

I will surpass those dragging me down

And I will rise like none before! 

~~grab 8/18/15~~

~~Dedicated to my friend, Destiny~~

(The above picture does not belong to me. It belongs to the following website) 
http://www.ecomythsalliance.org/2014/02/myth-monarchs-and-gmo-foods-are-unrelated/