The Music of the Opera

                                      

                                   

                          I meant to be sleeping...                              

I tried, I did

But I once meant to be happy,

I tried...or I didn't.

I smile as I sit here typing these lines.

I can't help but find the funny in it.

I feel real...I feel human.

I feel like a woman in some crazy world.

A world that excites me, drives me to the limit

A world that confuses me and drives me crazy.

I find myself thinking and dreaming again...

I don't know if this is happy...its not contentment

Because I want more.

I woke up this morning knowing the day would suck...

Yet I smiled because the sun was out...

The day had begun when I woke up.

I sit here when I should be sleeping

I type when I can't stop thinking

I listen when I get tired of hearing

I feel when I crave the need

I tire when the world goes crashing...

It's like my own little opera...

I can hear the beauty of the music...

The falsetto...the exquisite sound of music...

I sit here and let my fingers do my talking

Let my mind run rampant and my heart flutter

I sit here remembering the touch and feel of soft hands

The tenderness of loving lips

And the beauty of soft skin.

I choose to remember the good to erase my bad heart

I feel empty at times and lonely as hell

But I soon shall find my filling...my dry putty to the emptiness.

Then soon the paint will follow and cover in beauty.

I will remember this moment and only think this:

The music held high and the notes tickled my spine.

The laughter that held me heavy so many times before

Felt lighter than anything

As the highest pitch was sang with perfection

I smiled and felt the warmth...a warmth that just covered me.

Sometimes I find myself  on the stage in my dreams...

I find my opera....

I find myself.

~~grb 2011~~