In Prayer

Lord, give me something...I need something...to ease my mind.

Lord, help me breathe..I need to breathe...I keep tryin.

Everywhere I go I feel it follow....and I fall unto my knees

Everywhere I look I know its there....and its hard for me to breathe.

Can you help me lessen the anger and the pain that I still hold?

Can you give me strength to carry myself across the threshold?

I had seen him standing there and tried wishing him away...

but then I remembered how much I wished that he would stay.

So many nights I laid there with nothing on my mind...

Just stared into the darkness wishing away the light.

Now I hear him talk to me but I am just an ear

I hear it all, I have heard it before, yet this time it was clear.

It sunk into me...drowning me...suffocating me with every drop

I get it, I see it, but I wish for it to stop.

It stops when I get things done and keep on moving forward

But it still hurts, and I caused it and it's my fault that I'm torn.

The words move me like songs and I remember every detail

Where I was,what I was doing, and the death of a fairytale.

I sit here feeling petty, selfish and plain sad...

Missing all the laughter and smiles we once had.

Lord, I am not asking you to fix my life 

Or grant me a single wish

I am not on my knees begging you

For answers you cannot give.

I am simply asking for your arms

To hold me very tight

To strengthen me, love me, guide me

And direct me into the way that is right.

~~grb 2011~~