Unknown

 

I stared at this painting for hours...

I stared at it, cried at it, fell in to it.

It screamed to me "come closer".

It could be a raging tiger.

At one end, the heavens push him in the "right" direction;

And on the other, evil cannot let go.

He is reaching, grabbing, thrusting forward

Trying to get as far away as possible.

It is fire, war, pain, death and tears.

It is hatred, anger, distrust and fears.

It is...or is it not?

Perhaps it is life coming from death,

light after coming from the dark...

Or is it?

Or maybe it is all in my head. 

I am seeing what I need to or maybe, 

what I have to. 

 

~~grb 2012~~

therawartistgallery.com

Broken Ground

The ground cracked under my feet

Cutting me up, I watched them bleed.

As it breaks underneath me I began to think...

I should have been more prepared.

It's like a puzzle piece that doesn't fit

No matter which way you turn it, it's wrong.

Feeling detached, disconnected...

I want it to fit. 

It's a never ending hallway of disappointment

The dreams you had are right there,

but you can't grab them...

You can't even reach them.

Feeling restless and out of control.

I strained my neck just trying to see what it was

What it was that I needed, wanted so badly.

A high standard dream of success...

And a multitude of obstacles dragging me down...

I need to learn to hurdle better.

~~grb  2012~~

(Picture belongs to http://www.roleplaygateway.com/roleplay/university-of-broken-chains/places/broken-chains-living-quarters-floor-1/map)

Taking it all

Turning pages 

Traveling down..

Down the corridor

Of simple things.

Sifting through all the things in my head

Mistakenly shaking the tears that I shed

Exploring the dark that lies in my mind,

Imploring the words that fall through time. 

Stop and listen:

I'm taking it all

I'm taking it down

I can see the beginning

gonna tear up the town.

A kiss from a stranger

A hug from a friend

Sometimes the most lonely you feel

is when everyone's around.  

The most beautiful eyes

Calming voice....

Laughter that can be heard for miles...

Gonna make it mine.

So just stop and listen:

I'm taking it all

I'm taking it down

I can see the beginning

gonna tear up the town.

~~grb~~

My Gargoyle, Bronx

 June 18, 2002-June 12, 2012

 He didn't eat at the table 

He didn't tell me he loved me  
With beautiful words...

But I knew he did.

He didn't go to school

Or work, 

He didn't bring in money

Or buy groceries...

He didn't yell at me when I pissed him off...

But he let me know.

He was there when I was broken,

He was there when my son felt defeated.

He was there for each birthday

and each scratch my son had.

He was there when I felt I had no one....

He was always there.

He tried to sing, he tried to laugh even.

But I knew he hurt when he cried.

He had a smile that only we could see.

He had a way of always making me feel better.

He wasn't human but he acted like he was

He wasn't a cat, but he sure could climb a tree.

He wasn't a lap dog but was determined to fit...

He wasn't the smartest but he sure tried.

He was a loss....a loss that breaks my heart.

A loss that brings tears to my son's eyes.

He was my dog, an ol' man, my baby boy.

He was my Bronxy, and always will be.

He will be ever so missed.

~~grb ~~  

Whirlwind

Rethink and unwind

Relive it in your mind

Move forward.

Forgive and forget

Make mistakes, no regrets.

Move forward.

Move forward...

What does that mean, really?

We always move forward

We mean to change,

We mean to forgive

We mean to mind our own

Yet, we really just talk out of our ass.

Expectations some may have

The pedastool is now lower than the step stool

But, you still have one, right?

Move forward...like a bad bell

Ringing in my ear.

I'm a whirlwind...

I pick things up  to destroy them...

To scatter them around me 

To see what could have been

Or more, what was.

I mean to change,

My pattern may appear different

But its not. 

Move forward...

It's not black and white

It's a labyrinth in my head

Humility, embarrassment

Shame....

Move forward...

I have to figure it out. 

~~grb  2012

His Life

It was a strand of hair

A new direction straight from his head.

It was potential, beauty, bright future

That lied endlessly in the palm of his hand.

Did he really understand how quickly he could blow it?

Young, talented, promising...

with the squeeze of his hand 

It could all be gone. 

Why would he decided to hold it all in one hand?

Decisions can be the hardest thing in life.

They can essentially decide who you are...

Show people what  you stand for

And what you don't. 

You can change them, but you can't take them back. 

He is headed in the right direction,

I must have faith.

But faith won't keep him straight,

Faith won't stop the world from throwing curve balls.

Faith won't hold him tight when he is scared as hell.

I can not keep him safe. 

I can not keep him straight.

I can not decide for him

And I can not give him the answers.

So I sit here feeling helpless, 

I will love him  and guide him.

And I will pray he is doing what is right.

And learns from what isn't.

~~grb  2012~~

(The picture belongs to Anne Houseman- website beautyxpose)

LIQUID COURAGE

All I think is where this is going

finding myself thinking alone...

seeing alone...

One bottle, two...

All I feel is separation yet suffocation

Always falling backwards when I should fall forward.

Falling back....

One shot, two...

Feeling the anger...

Resurfacing....redecorating my mind.

Redirecting my sanity 

to the captivity in my heart. 

The red that fills the space..

covers the green...

destroys the blue 

that should be my safety.

Dammit.

Sitting, staring, glaring...

motivating...scary. 

They are small bottles...

Liquid courage...

small but large...

they go down nicely...

Driving through my mind...

I crash in to myself...

Breaking away to feel me close..

Irony....empathy....pity....

covers me like a blanket....

Red...fills the space

Liquid courage...

For a moment, helps erase

The scars, the hurt, the pain....

One bottle, two...

~~grb 2012~~

(I do not own rights for the picture above.