Freedom Prints

  

 Hard footsteps to follow in

even more to follow at all sometimes.

They are the footprints of a woman

A strong, beautiful woman.

Footsteps to each woman in my life

That carries my weight when I can not.

Each have a color in which I give them.

Orange is the relaxation and love for life;

In her footsteps I shall never tire.

Pink is a beautiful brightness;

In her footsteps I shall never be blind.

Silver is for strength and heart;

In her footsteps I shall never be weak.

Purple is warmth and beauty of the heart;

In her footsteps I shall always love whole-heartedly.

Blue is for the endless calm and beautiful outlook on life.

In her footsteps I shall remember life is good.

Teal is for the laughter on a grey day and smiles of sunshine;

In her footsteps I will remember to always breathe.

Pewter is for confidence and coolness;

In her footsteps I shall always keep my head high.

Black is for what we can't see;

Those are my footsteps and they remind me to live my life,

To dream to the fullest.

I will walk in any one of those girls footsteps.

They are our freedom prints.

--grb 9/28/2011--

Blindsided

The particles on the jacket

The scent on the sleeve

The red stain on the collar

The irritating need...

To know.

The fear in the eyes,

The bruise around the cheek and lid,

The swelling of the lip,

The sadness with concern...

Of why?

All the things we observe

Things that have nothing to do with us

The need to help placed in front

Of our underlying curiousity

We "must" know.

We observe others,

We judge others,

We "know" others,

We ignore our own pain

Our own deciet, betrayal

We see all the signs

Yet deny it by having to be

In the know of someone elses life.

While worrying about everyone else

We get hit like a rock that we didn't even see coming.

--grb 2011)

Removing the Mask

Dress came on, the shoes were placed

The necklace dangled above her breast

The lace gloves covered her hand almost to her fingertips

Just enough to show her beautiful fingers.

This wasn't her.

He pulled the jeans up, buttoned his shirt

He put on his chaps and tied his boots.

He wasn't anything close to the person he saw in the mirror.

Even the bandana couldn't fix it.

This wasn't him.

Everyday is another charade;

Another dress up like Halloween.

There is no telling how long the make-up stays,

When the mask will finally come off

And reveal who you really are.

Everyday I wonder if I twist myself into something...

Anything to not feel what I feel...

And then it comes to me..

And I go to it...

I held my shoes in my hand, 

The sand was warm and nice on my feet.

I removed my shirt, my pants, my everything..

I threw my shoes and felt the water overtake me.

I wiped the make-up off my face.

And I swam...

Hi, This is me.

--grb--9/2011

Skyscraper

The winds are shifting
Smashing through the trees
I can feel it.

The pain in the pit of my stomach
My nerves eager yet scared..
I could do without it.

Looking up as the clouds race by
Tumbling fast like acrobatics flinging through the air
I am preparing for the storm.

When the sky falls, I hope to be left standing.
When the flood attempts to overtake me, I plan to hear angels sing.
When the world feels though it is closing in on me,
Only one tear shall fall and pass my smiling lips...

I will not allow myself to be defeated.
I will not allow myself to be torn down...
I am not glass, nor paper..
I am not yet steel but I am on my way.

Like a skyscraper!

grb

In The Game

Timing is what is needed...
I feel the metal in my my hand
Timing, distance..measuring it with my eyes...
I pull the bat up, see the ball...swing...nice hit.


If only life could be measured the same way.
I am told it can..I guess I need more practice.


If  only my mind could work off the field...
If only my focus could zero in on the task at hand.
But my decision should be clear..
Have to focus in order to get what I want.


Legs moving, trying not to stumble..
First base, second base,....
Lost focus....quick slide...
Not quick enough...yet still feeling fulfilled.


Shake it off...take the field.


Eyes open, must keep focus...
I can feel the leather in my hand...
Watching it close in on my space...
Glove up, open, ball in, right hand covers...nice.


Timing can be everything...
Sometimes playing the game is all I need.


grb
2011

Like a Ton of Bricks

Determined to make right of what went wrong

Exhausting the very molecules in your brain

Tired of the same thoughts, same things all the time.

Now what?

It's dangerous to be left alone with yourself and your thoughts.

That is when you have to face your worst demons.

It is the time you have to sit and deal with your life choices,

Decisions and actions.

It can be the scariest, most unexpected moment in time.

You thought you were prepared, knew better,

Was ready for it all...

Yet it still hits you like a ton of bricks.

You try to play it off, cool, collected...good.

But you are dying inside and wait for all to leave just to cry.

You're tired of talking, sharing your feelings...

Tired of wondering why not one person tells you to shut up.

You are told you need to, that it helps...

So why do you still feel the same?

grb 9/2011

Feeling His Rhythm

Tap tap tap..rain falling on the window pain.
Boom boom boom...the bass rises from the radio.
His head moves with the beat
His feet feeling the rhythm as he taps against the floor...
Tap tap tap...its on.

Music made from everything around you;
A motorcycle driving by with a roar
A washer machine slightly unbalanced
Chimes hanging in the wind...
Making beauty.

I sit outside and close my eyes
It's exhilarating to see without your eyes.
Imagining where every noise comes from;
twisting it, turning it into something remarkable.

Tap, tap,tap, tappity tap tap....
Knock, knock, knock...
Let the rain fall, let the woodpecker peck,
Ching chang, ding ding,
Bring the wind blowing through...

He was making his music out of life.
I can feel that...feel his rhythm...
There I go...tappin my feet, moving to life...
Making something beautiful!

grb--9/2011

The Irony In My Head

I was unaware of the intellectual hold one can have on another.
This was not a person, but an idea that held with force.
I was young, naive and perpetually drawn to anything outside of reality.
I stared off for days, hours, lost in this idea of what my life would be.
Times that felt sacred to me made no sense to others.
I felt odd, out of place, but always played out with a smile and a laugh.
Always nervous of what people would think if they knew what went on in my head.

One day, I just felt full of self-esteem...
Full of a desire to go for more and yet need less...
Yes, it's a weird mixture; a set of words that when put together make you think.
Alot of what I would write or say ran on emotion,
Not much rationality nor thought at all.
But anything real to the heart is spoken with emotion.
So does a rational thought really play in here?
Perhaps.
But maybe I am rambling or maybe this is what I feared people know...

This is who I am.
I make sense in my mind and little to others.
I can't change how this is, how I feel, or who I am.
I can change my thought process, but why?

Do I leave you wondering what was the intellectual hold?

Well, you are right, that is how I leave it. :)

~~grb 9/5/11~~

In Her Eyes

Just walk away

Turn your back again

There’s no determining where this will end.

Be on your way

Watching the back of you

Walking right on through that door

She thought,”I shouldn’t be

Used to anything like it is

But here I am

Wondering if I asked for this.”

Turn away

Keep on walking down that road

There’s only a glimpse

Of what could have been for sure.

Just keep on walking down the road

Your mind was made up a long time ago.

You grabbed your bag, and your carry on

You disappeared for so very long.

But you left your love in her heart

She wasn’t sure just why

But she watched you walk out that door

And swore she wouldn’t cry.

dedicated to my anonymous friend--grb  9/11