Cowardliness

It's quiet tonight in my head

I sit here just trying to feel more

my thoughts in my head are calm

but I am not calm nor I am content.

I go through the days one day at a time.

I try not to not let everything get to me

Most people call it strength

I call it cowardliness.

I try not to think the worst

Not to dwell on the unknown...

Not knowing all the facts.

But my head weighs heavy on my shoulders

and I just can't sleep. 

I stay positive, throw it under the rug

But there are nights like tonight

Where the rug is too small...

Nights that everything weighs heavy

It wears me down.

It's a night of wine and the outdoors,

front porch patio furniture 

with a glass and two bottles.

A night that is relaxing 

Yet very sad. 

The things in my head that weigh heavy

the things in my head I can't share

Some may say it is strength

I call it cowardliness.

~~grb  5/28/13

revised 06/15/13